Women!! Oh Woman

I usually watch 'Lounge' by Rajat Kapur on NDTV. I really like the way he conducts the talk. He never talks too much and never rushes his guests and he genuinely listens to them without any pretense. He is a fresh air to the usual talk shows where only the host keeps blabbering all the time. So this time the topic of discussion was on how close -knit a family is in India, where kids and parents are too attached. There was this lady who spent all her life looking after her kids and when they left, she was devastated. I was very shocked when she said, 'My whole definition of a family was my kids, and now they have left, what do I have to live for?'. And it made me realize isn't this what happens to most of the mothers whose world revolves around her kids. And so I just thought to jot down a woman's journey the way I see around me.

Man and wife are meant to be one after marriage, but what happens when they begin to talk alike, dress alike and in a weird way - even look alike. Is it possible? Sadly, yes. Well, its a matter of perception.

One initially finds it really sweet and romantic, when you have a partner who finishes your sentences, knows what your thinking at a single gaze. Believe me it would be a fantasy come true for every married person, be it a woman or a man. Then an element of predictability creeps in, which can be a tad annoying! Have you ever been out for dinner with a newly wed couple? Oh its a sight to watch, the guy is always at her beck and call, the girl is all blushing and smiling and they are always holding hands... Meet them 8 months down the line, well all these aspects still remain, but none seem to genuine in their effort!

Ok these are just the physical aspects, there are some very crucial facts here, though. As humans we are emotional, esp. women. When we are in love, we think there is absolutely nothing in this world that could make us more happy than loving our partner each day, fulfilling his each desire and looking the best for him. In this time, all the other things that once held the top-most priority in you life, diminishes to the background. Your friends, work or studies, passions and hobbies you pursued et al. And gradually before you know, you start to lose your individuality. And then one day when its all settled in, for some, your relationship hits a normalcy period and you actually realize, 'hey there is more to life than this!'

But for some others, they go ahead and have kids, and then there is no time to reclaim your lost self. And as being a woman, we take care of our babies! Coz that is what we are supposed to do, rite? Then what happens, we all know. When they are babies they cling to us, but once they start learning to walk, Im sure every mother cries a bit, realizing they wont be that dependant now!

And the process continues as kids go to school, college and one day leaves home! There begins a whole new phase of pangs of longing for our kids, long lost self discovery, guilt of having abandoned ourselves for so long.

As women of the new generation, we know how hard it was for our parents to let go of us. The number of fights, arguments and moments of rebellion and it continues even after you are married. They are our parents, they expect us to listen to them, and rightly so!

It is very important for each partner to maintain their individuality after marriage. Coz, seriously, there is MORE to life... And its more of a matter of being real to yourself. Women play many roles in life - being a daughter, a wife , a mother. And society feels these are the important roles we need to play. But luckily, for our generation, we have chances to be more than these 3 roles. We work, we are ambitious and we lead a life where no body can question our 'Roles'. We are seen more than just mothers and wives. Today we have it all.

But still many of us just give it up. Well, again its a matter of choice. It all comes down to one thing, we need to learn to be HAPPY in whatever situation we are. However, its easier said than done....