Keeping pace with my Momsie-in-law

My in-laws are visiting us for 2 weeks. They arrived on Sunday the week before. It is always a delight to have them around the house. They do not waste any time in settling down or taking rest , but start off taking charge of the house hold activities and everything. They are always there to greet me when I reach home, otherwise which is empty, since Matt comes home quite late. The house has lit up so much with lively, animated conversation, laughter, chatty arguments over the silliest things(my mom-in-law and me about whether a certain fruit was an orange or sweet lime), narrating old childhood stories and unlimited food - heavy breakfast, lunch and dinners. Literally everyday, I feel like taking a leave and staying at home.

My mom-in-law is a pure workaholic. She worked as a nurse and is now a house wife in the fullest sense. As a nurse, she had to work many shifts and then manage home with 3 unruly boys who were obviously up to no good. And now she has the set pattern of working 24/7 around the clock. Before coming to visit us, she made around 6 jackfruit halwa - a specialty of Kerala, ground coconut chutney and pineapple jam(let me remind you, these things take a loads of time to prepare and requires constant attention). In the last one week at home, she has made 3 bottles of pickles - lime, garlic and mango, other delicacies like unni appams and urad wadas. She has prepared enough spices - right from scratch - for me to use for the next 6 months. And all this despite of the fact that I constantly try to stop her from entering the kitchen, at least when I'm at home esp. during weekends. I haven't seen anybody who so gleefully pulls out steamed idlis and sambhar, along with 5 varieties of dishes and curries for lunch at the same time.

I surely cannot keep up with her. She will not sit still for a second. She tends to over do things whether or not she is up to it. But she never forces me to work along side her and asks me to leave her alone and stop fussing her. I feel bad leaving her like that but I've come to realize that it really doesn't make any difference 'coz she is so involved in the process that one can only stand over there as a spectator with nothing to do other than swatting flies. And its so hard to keep your hands off the things she makes and places on the plate. Earlier, I did not take any of the food without the whole process getting over. Now, however, I've just given up and she has to chase me out of the kitchen.

Yes, Ive learned a lot from her methods and she always keeps giving me advice and tips on many things. Looking at her, at times, we keep forgetting that she is old and weak also. She takes all the pains in her stride. Matt told me once, how often he has caught her massaging her legs on her own at night, after a long day's work, without stirring a soul.

It brings tears to my eyes at times when I think of what she has been through. 'Coz of cancer, her right hand has swollen up because the fluids keep collecting up there. She can't wear bangles which every Kerala woman loves, she walks lop-sided and can't climb heights, because her legs ache if she exerts her self. But she still walks speedily, sometimes it looks like she is gonna fall, whenever we go for outings just to keep up with us and not to miss out of all the fun. She hates any kind of sympathy or special treatment. She wants us to treat her like she is normal and fights her way to resume work the way she wants. In the little time , I've known her, she has been a person who has given me ample space to make mistakes. But she does not tolerate my irresponsibility or laziness and points it out then and there.

Its overwhelming what she has shown me - that it takes a lot more than having a beautiful face or body to be a Woman in the true sense. It goes to show that one does not need to compromise on anything just because s/he is sick or just because someone has written us off as weak. We need to be aware of our own capabilities and push its limits. Though not in so many words, she does not claim to be a very great person nor expects any accolades for what she does. She feels she is just being what she was meant to be - A SURVIVOR!!