The Monday

Im sitting at my desk on a monday morning too early for my records. I look around my place of work and see empty cubicles. Im trying to keep my eyes from shutting with a cup of coffee. Except from the CPU whirring there is absolute silence. No sound of any human contact near by. People come in trying to keep up a fresh face for the week ahead. Some walk in with a dazed look on their faces. I can hear some girly laughter and chatter at the pantry. The girls catching up on their activities during the weekends. The clicking of heels, the swiping of cards. The rustling of bags and the whiff of some strong bathing soaps or some '9-gemed'hair oils.

I'd so love to exchange all this sounds with that of the sea on the beach or some birds chirping or the breeze through the trees. The sight of morning sunrise or the smell of some good home made breakfast. Id love to run outside and sit in the well-maintained green lawns and laze. My boss walks in and asks me to arrange an impromptu status call meeting.

And So I step into this maze of activities.

Since the Last Time

Its been almost a year since I last updated my blog. I completely forgot the thrill I enjoyed writing. Well it had more to do with the fact that my job profile earlier expected me to write a lot and with my current job, it just took a backseat.

I still don't know why i stopped blogging. I enjoyed it, even got people to read it and then one day I just stopped. Just like that. I know I cud have made some time to update it. Well, what the heck! I'm back now and it feels great. Gosh I was just going through all the blogs I used to read earlier and wow things have changed a lot.

So what has happened with me Since the Last Time ???
1. Life changed for me just like a train changing tracks. I have began to view life differently and treasure it too. I've learnt to be more honest with myself and see things as they really are.

2. I've seen the lowest point in my life some months back and now by God's grace come out of it! Its been a tough few months. But through it all I feel it was a much needed waking call.

3. I witnessed how my life took the complete U turn healthwise. Certain unexpected events shook me completely and I just lost my desire to live. This was also a revelation to me as to who are the people who should matter the most to me. I got help from totally unexpected people who helped me deal with my Health related problems in the right manner.

4. I enrolled myself for a Power Yoga Class and as it turns out my trainer is the one and only Dr. Renu Mahtani (a fun loving, bubbly and spontaneous person. So not the attributes anyone relates to Yoga teachers.)

4. During my low point, I came across some genuine people who have battled difficulties in life and are living witnesses of Grit, Strength and Survival. And also observed some who are very self-centred, immature and illogically contained in themselves in the name of Faith.

5. I also did make some awesome friends and learned that there is more to life than just being all caught up in one's cucoon.

6. And oh yes I took a road trip to Kanha, which was awesome. (details and pics which will soon follow)

I hope to continue to be grateful for my existence and share my experiences through blogging...
So here is to Life & Good Times...and hopefully a good amount of blogging!!

New job comes calling!

I've been missing the blog scenario for quite some time now! I found that I have so much to catch up on. So many blogs to read, so many people to connect with. So if anyone 'is' curious as to why I was away for so long, the reason is this - had been buried with work load, was looking out for a new job, got a new job when I was least expecting it to happen and in the midst of it all, didn't get the time for my recent favorite activity!

So here I was one day at work and found myself without any work! Went into a spiralling thought process about my career and life. Spoke to my colleague(past college mate) about the quality of work. Of course, he had better things to do in life than share my reminiscing thoughts. Then I knew it was time to look out for something new. But hey, when you want something so bad, it's never gonna happen rite? So I waited and waited but nothing good turned up.

As usual work was just getting mediocre. I decided to talk to my superior regarding this - fixed the date and time when I would talk, also practised the talk in front of the mirror. And as if they'd got some telepathic waves, that day I got a whole list of new and interesting tasks to work on. And then onwards, my schedule was so tight, I literally didn't have time to lift my head up leave alone blogging. But for a change I started enjoying work. There was a fixed target to be met in a particular period. As for my previous colleague, who is in the designing team, work started getting repetitive. But this time, I had better things to do in life than hear his reminiscing thoughts.

And then it HAPPENED!!! After all the applying, re-applying, getting calls, going for interviews, being rejected, I got to know about a new opening. Having nothing to lose, went ahead and viola! got the final call. You'd thing the hard part is over. Then comes the part where you break this news to your boss. That time they make you feel like you are the most worthiest of the employee ever and as to how could you ever think of leaving. This from a guy whose only other conversation with me was when I was being hired! Then the questioning as to is the new job really worth the current one? The contempt for the new profile. The promises to make current job more interesting. All these talks really put you out of track and makes you wonder - sheesh , am I really taking the right decision leaving these wonderful people?
Every work teaches you a lot, adding experience and good memories. Parting is never pleasure for anyone. When I finally convinced them that they could not possibly do anything to stop me from moving on, I got to hear a deep sigh, a look of betrayal and a tone of fake 'all-the-bests'. And then came the dread of putting up the papers, getting all papers, submitting the papers to the new company, all the formalities, referral checks. Its never ending! And I'm wait in anticipation, expecting the worse, looking out for any possiblities of screw ups! You'd think anyone would be thrilled and on top of the world with the new job. Well, hold the excitement, you might be move after 2 years again!

Loyally yours!

"Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families."
- Anonymous.

Obviously friends are important through all stages of life. We make friends left, right and center but only some stand out of the crowd. And the criteria for them being 'a friend' ranges from having similar interests, tolerance to all your tantrums, standing with you through thick and thin and as a quote by Oscar Wilde says "A true friend stabs you in the front". But sometimes even the most favorable friendships do not stand the test of time, while some do. Its difficult to maintain friendships for many reasons - a fight, distance, change of life tracks or simply by falling out of touch.

And we make frenz on every instance of our life. Some have been friends since their diaper days. Some make friends in school, college and at work places. As we grow up as persons, our personality changes and we might happen to be in different places in our lives. So that can be a reasonable excuse to give up a friendship that might be so close to your heart. Either they move on or you do. And there are those who stick to you like a glue, who'll never leave your side no matter what. Be it during times of trouble, insanity, rage and holds on through thick and thin, or during times of joyful and happy times. It is so much easier to forget all the good things your friends do and to remember the times you had a fight or a misunderstanding.

This Sunday was Friendship's Day. And though I don't recommend that we need one particular day to suddenly realise the value of friends, the thought is surely nice. And since this is my blog where I write on anything and everything, I think its only fair that I dedicate one post for my precious friends. Some of whom I've known from my school, junior college, grads, post grads and work. These are the guys, with whom I've managed to be in touch with or rather some who have been in touch with me (lot of touchiness!! ). So, here is a dedication for all you guys.

Sons - Thanks for teaching me to have fun in life and for all the sacrifices you have done
on my behalf. And im sorry for being a jerk, yaar!

Prats - Thanks for getting in touch with me again. You showed me that its more important to
be content in whatever life throws at us. But I still think you are capable of much more
than you think.

Kets - For not changing anything between us. And dear, no matter how much you think you have become the calm, elegant, graceful ladylike, for me u'll still be the same old tom-boy, care-too-hoots, hyperactive girl who always stood or knelt out of class punished along side me.

Josh - For being so bindass and also got us all in trouble at times. Full of life. Its a rare sight to see you down. Basically, showing me how to laugh at our silliness and mistakes.

Reks - For being my punching bag and at times my competition. For keeping me soooo grounded and for not letting time or distance affect our friendship. I'll miss you a lot (sniff!!)

Febs - For showing me that actions speaks louder than words and for always calling and the
all credits to you for our retaining friendship. Im so glad you did, thank you!

Vars - For not being judgemental of my actions. For telling me that nothing is impossible and for proving it by being an example yourself. I applaud you and wish you all the best in you ambitions. Keep aiming high, dear!

Ans - You've saw me through my tears during my exams. Consoled me when I got my first backlog and racked your brains teaching me and tolerated all my nonsense and my temper. Also for breaking my bubble when i wud get too ahead of myself. Im eagerly waiting for the D-day.

Ruks - For being my 'combined STUDY partner' and for getting all those delicious tiffins, which I finished mostly(and the dvds!!)

Sorabs - For being my accomplice, for giving fire to all my useless ideas and supporting me in whatever decision I took. Thanks pal!

Prads - For making me feel so comfortable during my first day of work. A little lazy but
always lends a helping hand.

Krats - For showing me that age need not be a hinderance for becoming frenz. But still, I'm elder to you so I do have the rite to boss over you, ok?

Kavs - For always saying 'Ok, good idea! Lets do it'. And getting excited to try out
new things. I do hope you'll soon build up your own confidence, though! All the best with your new job.

These are people with whom i didnt feel the need to show any kind of formalities, some of whom I could call at any time of the day and talk normally even if we hadn't met for months. I cherish our friendship and dont know what i would have done at my most desperate moments if you guys didn't help me out. A million thanks...for keeping me in your lives..

The SHREK in me

When I saw the movie 'Shrek' the first time, I cried. Because I really felt for the character and cud relate to him and not because im that ugly or scary. There are times when I can drive people away from me and turn into a monster. It used to affect me earlier and I tried putting up this mask of being a very calm person but inside i wud be an erupting volcano.


The reason why Shrek was a social outcast lies in the fact that people had a pre-conceived notion about him and he didn't actually fit the bill of the so-called civilized society. Being scorned from childhood, pricked and poked by 'humans', he lived on his own and his best friend was 'himself' and his beloved place was his 'swamp'. He minded his own business and also indulged at times playing on the fears created about him by scaring humans. And so they stayed away.

It takes an ogre to know the trials and tribulations of another. And so it was. The beautiful Princess Fiona turned into an ogre when the sun set down. This she guarded as a painful secret with her life. But the one thing she wanted to run away from, she finally embraced it for the rest of her life. During various phases of life, our personalities undergo transformations. On the way, we minus things we dont want and add things we feel suit us. We adapt inhibitions, become more poised and we refine the way we talk. In short we out grow our childhood. And this goes on from school to college to work to marriage and on the way, we end up having lost and gained so much.

No matter how much you try, you just can't get rid of certain aspects in life. It keeps raising its ugly head every now and then and we guard it as a secret. Maybe there could come some good from this. As long as Shrek was in his comfort zone, nobody bothered to know him at all. It was only when his swamp was invaded that he took the risk of setting out and reclaim what he had lost. And on the way he got more than he bargained for. Thats when his true colors outshone even the most good looking of human beings.


On the contrary, Princess Fiona waited for the perfect Prince Charming to come and rescue her. And rescued she was, but by this disgustingly ugly ogre. She always dreamt of the perfect ending where finally she marries the Prince and lives happily ever after. To the world she was the most beautiful Princess and if things went right, nobody would know her ugly secret. But that was not meant to be. She had to decide between retaining her beautiful self at the cost of giving up what she really was. Or embracing true happiness by turning into an ogre. She chose the latter. And though it wasn't the perfect picture in front of the society, it felt right all the same.

Also worth mentioning is Donkey, who overcame his fear of Shrek and never left his side. He was different coz he didn't let common sense or worldly knowledge ruin his intelligence. It helps to make a knowledge database of our own, not based on what people say is best or following typical norms. We could actually surprise ourselves with something very special.


Aren't there moments in life when you feel you could really do without some of your personal traits. I DO. I could really do without some of my physical flaws, or momentary anger, or the urge to bang my head against the wall when thing don't go the way I want to, or laze around and make all sorts of excuses for everything wrong in my life. Maybe I cud work on some of them or maybe not.

And aren't there times when you feel like running through the rains, or jumping on a trampoline, playing langdi or seven tiles or cricket like kids, or relish a mango thoroughly without any care for all the juices oozing down your fingers and dress. I just can't remember when I stopped doing all this and why? May be next time I won't quieten the 'Shrek' that awakens my senses and will oblige even if it is at the cost of losing my dignity.

Women Drivers

Indian men can't stand a woman driving!! There I said it.... and its an Indian truth(coz, I dunno about how it is abroad...) The moment they spot a lady on her vehicle, they have to peer and observe her riding or driving.  For them, its the 8th greatest wonder if a girl rides a bullet or drives a hummer. According to men, women in general just don't have what it takes to be driving a car or riding a bike. No sense of direction, no understanding of the power of the vehicle and no road sense at all. As it is, woman are fighting a war literally everyday to make a place for themselves in all aspects and add to this the woes of travelling on your own vehicle. I thought, it may only happen in smaller cities and towns, till I stayed in Mumbai for some time. The city is the coolest metro with malls, theatres, eateries and good hang-out places in every nook and corner, but finding a woman rider is a rare phenomena there, which is weirdly surprising. And even if a girl does venture out, you won't find her on the main junction roads or flyovers.

One evening, Matt and me were passing the road parallel to Haji Ali. And we saw a girl riding an Activa. All the people turned their heads to watch, and after sometime, some guys on their bikes started honking and hooting. My friend D was also riding along with us, and started honking. It just was so instinctive for them to honk. Like a bunch of monkeys following their chief and  they just kept watching her till she vanished from sight. I was horrified!!  I asked D why he did that. And he said something like 'She shouldn't be riding on a highway, it's not safe with all the big vehicles and traffic', which didn't make sense at all. I mean, who made them the guardians of all the girls on the street.

In Pune, though men are quite tolerant ('coz they don't have a choice), one will usually see them looking at women riders with ridicule and shake their heads as to 'What this world is coming to', when they see a girl speeding through. The comments range from 'see what she is wearing while riding a bike' to 'she can't even balance her handles properly' to 'how can she kick start with those heels'. And then the typical malayali achayans stating, 'pennangal aaittu pogannu pokku kandille'(being girls, see how they are going) or 'Vandi odikyan arriyithille veethil vekaratho?'( If you don't know how to drive, keep your vehicle at home). I know one such achayan who wouldn't buy a 2- wheeler for his daughter. And the reason he cited, 'Oh, girls are always riding so fast now-a-days. Its scary out there.' Yeah rite, boys are the safest and slowest riders ever. Girls are the ones obsessed with speed. 
  
The worst kinds are the truck and lorry-drivers on connecting routes to the highways.  They get specially excited first of all seeing a girl, and then a girl riding a 2-wheeler, its like 'sone pe suhaaga'. They have to overtake or corner or race a girl on a bike. I have personally faced it so many times. And god-forbid, when you overtake them when they are least expecting, you'll hear an array of colorful words and hand gestures.        

Its like, men just can't accept that a woman can drive on her own without making a mistake. Matt or his friend D have to pass a remark or raise their eyebrows if they can sight one woman driving a big vehicle like a bmw or a benz. Its like their head turns to see the vehicle, then it turns to see the driver and then it turns once more if its a girl, this time much faster. D had a time of his life when he came to Pune. He was so irritated because he couldn't see the faces of the women riding their 2-wheelers as they cover their faces with scarves. And the patience level almost hits ceiling, when they see a woman parking or navigating their cars through heavy traffic. Matt, (an ardent believer that women by large don't know how to drive, sparing a few) will wait and stand at times just to watch how a woman parks her car and says 'Oh, I should go and help her.'

He narrated an incident which happened many years before, when one night a lady was riding a chetak. She came in good speed and hit a speed breaker, after which she lost her balance and instead of trying to control, she left her hands to cover her face and screamed. Well, who says, just because we ride, we should lose our feminity? Women will be women and we'll ride just like how a woman is supposed to. And even if we go flying down after a skid, we'll see that our hair is in place and fall in style. You don't like it?? Too bad...as the scooty ad goes "Why should men have all the fun?"

Keeping pace with my Momsie-in-law

My in-laws are visiting us for 2 weeks. They arrived on Sunday the week before. It is always a delight to have them around the house. They do not waste any time in settling down or taking rest , but start off taking charge of the house hold activities and everything. They are always there to greet me when I reach home, otherwise which is empty, since Matt comes home quite late. The house has lit up so much with lively, animated conversation, laughter, chatty arguments over the silliest things(my mom-in-law and me about whether a certain fruit was an orange or sweet lime), narrating old childhood stories and unlimited food - heavy breakfast, lunch and dinners. Literally everyday, I feel like taking a leave and staying at home.

My mom-in-law is a pure workaholic. She worked as a nurse and is now a house wife in the fullest sense. As a nurse, she had to work many shifts and then manage home with 3 unruly boys who were obviously up to no good. And now she has the set pattern of working 24/7 around the clock. Before coming to visit us, she made around 6 jackfruit halwa - a specialty of Kerala, ground coconut chutney and pineapple jam(let me remind you, these things take a loads of time to prepare and requires constant attention). In the last one week at home, she has made 3 bottles of pickles - lime, garlic and mango, other delicacies like unni appams and urad wadas. She has prepared enough spices - right from scratch - for me to use for the next 6 months. And all this despite of the fact that I constantly try to stop her from entering the kitchen, at least when I'm at home esp. during weekends. I haven't seen anybody who so gleefully pulls out steamed idlis and sambhar, along with 5 varieties of dishes and curries for lunch at the same time.

I surely cannot keep up with her. She will not sit still for a second. She tends to over do things whether or not she is up to it. But she never forces me to work along side her and asks me to leave her alone and stop fussing her. I feel bad leaving her like that but I've come to realize that it really doesn't make any difference 'coz she is so involved in the process that one can only stand over there as a spectator with nothing to do other than swatting flies. And its so hard to keep your hands off the things she makes and places on the plate. Earlier, I did not take any of the food without the whole process getting over. Now, however, I've just given up and she has to chase me out of the kitchen.

Yes, Ive learned a lot from her methods and she always keeps giving me advice and tips on many things. Looking at her, at times, we keep forgetting that she is old and weak also. She takes all the pains in her stride. Matt told me once, how often he has caught her massaging her legs on her own at night, after a long day's work, without stirring a soul.

It brings tears to my eyes at times when I think of what she has been through. 'Coz of cancer, her right hand has swollen up because the fluids keep collecting up there. She can't wear bangles which every Kerala woman loves, she walks lop-sided and can't climb heights, because her legs ache if she exerts her self. But she still walks speedily, sometimes it looks like she is gonna fall, whenever we go for outings just to keep up with us and not to miss out of all the fun. She hates any kind of sympathy or special treatment. She wants us to treat her like she is normal and fights her way to resume work the way she wants. In the little time , I've known her, she has been a person who has given me ample space to make mistakes. But she does not tolerate my irresponsibility or laziness and points it out then and there.

Its overwhelming what she has shown me - that it takes a lot more than having a beautiful face or body to be a Woman in the true sense. It goes to show that one does not need to compromise on anything just because s/he is sick or just because someone has written us off as weak. We need to be aware of our own capabilities and push its limits. Though not in so many words, she does not claim to be a very great person nor expects any accolades for what she does. She feels she is just being what she was meant to be - A SURVIVOR!!